remember how teachers are human?

This morning I was almost in tears on my way to school. It was one of those mornings where all I could think about were my failings as a teacher. The times I didn't give a kid the time or attention or encouragement they needed. The times I have said the wrong thing, or not shown love and patience.The times I should've shown grace, but didn't. Gah! Teaching would be so much easier if I wasn't human.

Yesterday in the middle of teaching Year 3 Maths, one of my Year 4s printed a whole page of rainbow colour. It was beautiful... but we don't have an endless supply of colour. My kids know they aren't allowed to print without asking. My kids know that coloured pages are for 'saving and showing' not printing. And I had just talked to 2 boys about changing their backgrounds to white before printing...whilst also trying to teach the compensation strategy for subtraction to my 14 Year Threesies (which was actually a hilarious lesson featuring a kangaroo named "Puppy"... one of my girls was even laughing so hard that her stomach hurt & she had tears rolling down her face...ah crazy kids). So anyway when I looked over and saw a whole page of rainbow colour being printed I had one of my un-grace-filled moments. I even used the "are you buying the next round of ink?" line & not even with my kind voice. hmm.

So an hour later her dad called to inform me that I had caused his child no end of distress and he wanted to have a face-to-face meeting with me because this was the 2nd time in 2 weeks that I hadn't taken her sensitivity into consideration (the other time was a general class reprimand about homework slackness). By the time I got home last night I was feeling really yucky. Even though yesterday was a super fun day (seriously! you should see the fun art project we did yesterday!), all I could think about were the millions of times I have failed as a teacher.

When I got to school this morning, that same dad was waiting outside the staffroom. I almost stopped breathing. Luckily (for me anyway) he was there to yell at his other daughter's teacher, but it was still un-nerving, especially hearing the way he spoke to my colleague. I went to playground duty still filled with doubt about my own competence.

But...
Within minutes I was surrounded by my girls (including the one I had 'devastated' yesterday). If you ever need a self-esteem boost, hang out with my girls! One of them came running over with a little box that she had sprayed with perfume, "Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss F! I've got your birthday present! Sorry it's a bit late!" Actually it was perfect timing. I opened it up and it had a cute little pen and a "No. 1 Teacher" key-ring. I am aware that there are more than one of these made in the world. But this morning it was just what I needed... a reminder that those kids I love so much actually appreciate me, that I am actually good at my job (I don't mean that in a conceited way) and that even when I stuff up, kids are the world's best forgivers.