Monday, August 16, 2010

"don't worry, you'll find someone soon!"

Ok, so today I was sharing with one of my married friends (which you seem to collect alot of by the time you're 28) how I have decided to make the most of my 'now' and enjoy being single... of course she responded "don't worry, you'll find someone soon!"    Um... were you not listening?

2 weeks ago I was reading 'Sex God' by Rob Bell and I was really challenged about my attitude towards being single. I have spent so many years living in limbo, waiting for 'that' guy to come and then get on with all that God has planned for my life. But what if the ministry God has called me to at this point in my life is just as important? Am I going to be answerable to God about whether I had a husband by the time I was 25, or about whether the kids in my class grew to a deeper understanding of their Creator while they were under my care? Should I spend my time and energy pining for the 'greener grass' of marriage and having my own family, or would this energy be better spent in encouraging those around me, developing the gifts God has given me and helping my kids to recognise and develop their own gifts?

So anyway, out of this pondering I decided to make a conscious decision to go with the later, to focus on becoming the best teacher, friend, 'aunty', daughter, colleague and follower of God that I can, and leave the rest up to God. I actually got really excited and passionate about living out my 'now' calling!

Of course, it seems not everyone got the memo, and I have found this resolve alot more challenging than I thought. Not because of my own 'desires', but the social expectations of those around me. In the past 2 weeks it has been almost daily that I have been asked the "so... have you met anyone lately?", "who are the single guys at your church?" "anyone on the horizon?" "do you have a man in your life?" etc etc etc questions. And of course then there was the set up by my grandpa (read my previous blog) and the follow up questions by well-meaning (maybe?) friends when I relayed that crazy story... "well, was he a rich indian?" (cos that matters!?! do you people not know me?) Hmm maybe I'm just being super sensitive, but in a way I think that's good that I'm noticing these comments these days and not just letting them sink into my sub-conscious to add to the messed up self-belief that I already have.

I am not an inferior person because I don't have a 'significant other'! I know I am doing what I have been called to at this time and I am going to make the most of it! (even when it gets hard and the tears don't stop)

end rant.

1 comment:

My name is Cait said...

I know that feeling all too well. If no one paid attention to me being single then I'm sure I wouldn't struggle with it half as much as I do. I think other people want me married off more than I want for myself!

Well prayers are going your way!